Draft of Derek and the Leftover Bagel
Derek Sykes was halfway through his morning routine when he noticed the bagel bag sitting on the sidewalk, half-eaten and abandoned. He had just finished brushing his teeth and was about to grab his coffee when the sight of the bagel tugged at something in him.
It was a plain sesame bagel, the kind he bought every morning from the corner bakery, but this one was missing its half. A piece of paper was tucked inside the bagel's center, and it read, 'Please take this. I need to get to the hospital.'
Derek hesitated, glancing around the empty street. No one was in sight. He picked up the bagel, the paper crumpling slightly in his grip, and turned it over in his hands.
The next day, Derek found himself standing outside the same bakery, holding a fresh bagel in one hand and a small, folded piece of paper in the other. He had decided to return the bagel to the bakery, just in case.
The bakery owner, a gruff man named Shelley Barrera, looked up from the counter and raised an eyebrow. 'You're not the first to bring me a bagel with a note,' he said, taking the paper and unfolding it.
Shelley read the note and sighed, shaking his head. 'That was Harmony Crews. She's one of our regulars, always buying a bagel and leaving a note for someone else.'
Derek raised an eyebrow. 'And she left the bagel on the sidewalk?' Shelley nodded. 'She's always in a rush, but she always leaves one behind for someone else.'
Derek left the bakery with a fresh bagel in his hand and a new curiosity in his mind. He had never met Harmony Crews, but now he was determined to find her.
A few days later, Derek found Harmony in the waiting room of the hospital, her hands wrapped around a hot cup of coffee. She looked up, surprised, as Derek approached.
'You're the one who took the bagel,' she said, her voice soft but grateful. Derek nodded. 'I found it on the sidewalk. I thought it was strange, but I took it anyway.'
Harmony smiled, her eyes lighting up. 'That was the first time in months that someone actually took the bagel I left behind.' She explained that she had been leaving bagels for strangers in need, but no one had ever taken one.
Derek felt a strange sense of satisfaction as he listened to her story. He had never considered himself a kind person, but now he was beginning to think he might have a few hidden talents.
A few weeks later, Derek found himself standing in front of the bakery again, this time with a bag of bagels in his hands. He had started leaving bagels for strangers, just like Harmony had done.
The bakery had become a hub of kindness, with people coming in to pick up bagels for others in need. Shelley, once gruff and skeptical, had even started leaving notes of his own.
Derek had never imagined that a simple act of kindness could change his life so completely. But as he walked away from the bakery that day, he knew that something had changed - something small, but something real.
Draft Review of Derek and the Leftover Bagel
Blocking issues:
- The dialogue punctuation is missing quotation marks around the direct speech. Add quotation marks for clarity and proper formatting.
Revision requests:
- The dialogue punctuation is missing quotation marks around the direct speech. Add quotation marks for clarity and proper formatting.
Taste notes:
- The phrase 'again' is redundant since it was previously established that Derek visited the bakery earlier. Consider removing 'again' for tighter phrasing.