Draft of Pendleton's Haunt
In the heart of the small, fog-shrouded town stood the old Pendleton Manor. Its stone walls had witnessed countless winters turn to summers over two centuries. But within those walls lay a mystery that no one dared explore fully-except for Emily, who had just inherited it from her late uncle.
Emily was drawn to the mansion by an unexplainable pull, almost as if something inside called out to her. The first night in the manor, she heard whispers of old conversations and laughter echoing through the halls. Terrified but curious, she ventured deeper into the house, guided only by the soft glow from a single candle.
In the attic, she found an ancient diary hidden behind a dusty portrait. The pages were yellowed with age, inked in faded black. As Emily turned to read, the room grew colder, and shadows danced upon the walls. She could feel eyes watching her from every direction. The words in the diary told of a curse placed on the Pendleton family by a vengeful spirit seeking justice for an unspeakable crime.
Determined to break the curse, Emily began reading aloud the names of those involved, hoping the spirits would find peace. Each name spoken was met with a chilling silence and a flicker of light from the candle that seemed to mock her efforts. Despite the growing fear, she refused to give up. The more she read, the stronger the presence became until finally, there was only darkness.
The next morning, Emily woke in a sweat-drenched bed. The diary lay untouched on the floor. The whispers had stopped, but the weight of what she had experienced lingered. She knew the mansion would never be just an ordinary house again, and neither would she.
Draft Review of Pendleton's Haunt
The draft has strong elements but could benefit from some revisions. The setting, Pendleton Manor, is effectively eerie and the character's determination adds tension. However, more detail on Emily's background or initial feelings about inheriting the house would help readers connect with her more deeply. Additionally, consider elaborating on how she feels after reading each name in the diary-does she experience any supernatural effects? This could enhance the sense of growing fear and isolation. Overall, the ending is powerful but perhaps a bit abrupt. Adding a brief conclusion that ties back to the beginning or leaves the reader with a lingering question could make it even more impactful.