Draft of Portal to Eternity
In the heart of the ancient city, a hidden portal shimmered under the moonlight. Elara, a curious young apprentice, stumbled upon it during her evening walk. As she approached, the air around the portal buzzed with energy. Without hesitation, she reached out and touched the cool stone, feeling a strange warmth spread through her body.
The world shifted around her as if she were falling into an endless void. When Elara opened her eyes again, she was standing in a field of shimmering grass under a sky filled with countless stars. A majestic palace loomed on the horizon, its towers reaching towards the heavens. Elara realized she had traveled through time.
Inside the palace, she met King Aelar, who welcomed her as his guest. He shared stories of his reign and the magic that protected their kingdom. As days passed, Elara learned to wield powerful spells, growing stronger with each lesson. But she knew she must return home before it was too late.
With a heavy heart, Elara said goodbye to King Aelar and his courtiers. She stepped back into the portal, feeling the familiar warmth as she crossed over. When she emerged, she found herself back in the city, but everything felt different. The ancient magic had changed her, granting her newfound wisdom and courage.
Draft Review of Portal to Eternity
Paragraph 1: The introduction sets up an intriguing premise but could benefit from more detail. Consider describing the ancient city and its architecture to immerse readers in the setting early on. Paragraph 2: This paragraph is strong, capturing Elara's curiosity and the mysterious nature of the portal. However, adding a bit more description about how she feels as she touches the stone would enhance the reader's experience. Paragraph 3: The scene shift is effectively conveyed, but the description of the shimmering field could be expanded to paint a vivid picture for readers. Paragraph 4: Introducing King Aelar and the palace adds depth to the narrative, but consider providing more dialogue or interactions between Elara and the king to make their relationship feel more tangible. Paragraph 5: The journey inside the palace is engaging, but including specific spells or magic lessons could strengthen the plot further. Paragraph 6: The conclusion brings back Elara to her original world with a sense of change. However, emphasizing how her time in the other realm affected her return home would make the transformation more impactful.