Draft of Exodus
In the year 2157, humanity had expanded beyond its solar system. The crew of the starship *Aether* embarked on a mission to explore a newly discovered exoplanet orbiting Kepler-452b. Their objective was to uncover any signs of alien life or resources that could benefit Earth's future.
Captain Elara Myles, a seasoned astronaut, led the five-member team through the vast emptiness of space. The *Aether* approached the planet, its surface bathed in a soft, golden light from its twin suns. As they descended into the atmosphere, the ship's sensors detected unusual readings.
The landing site was chosen carefully; the crew suited up and prepared for the first steps on foreign soil. Commander Li, the chief engineer, conducted a final check of their equipment. When everyone was ready, the team exited the shuttle, stepping onto the alien landscape.
They walked through dense forests filled with strange flora, their suits equipped with advanced AI to translate any communication signals. As they ventured deeper into the planet's core, the readings grew more erratic. Suddenly, a series of lights flickered in the distance-alien technology?
With caution, the team approached the source and found an ancient structure, half-buried by time. Inside, they discovered holographic recordings from a long-extinct civilization. These beings had once colonized Kepler-452b before it became uninhabitable.
The crew documented their findings meticulously, aware that this discovery could rewrite human history. As night fell on the exoplanet, the *Aether* prepared to return home, its mission completed but leaving behind more questions than answers.
Draft Review of Exodus
The draft is well-structured and engaging. However, a few areas could be enhanced for clarity and flow:
1. Consider adding more detail to the alien technology and recordings to give readers a clearer picture of the discovery.
2. Ensure consistency in tense usage (present vs. past) throughout the narrative.
3. Add some descriptive elements about the environment to better immerse the reader.
4. The conclusion seems rushed; you might want to expand on what these findings mean for humanity's future.
Overall, it reads like a promising start and needs just a few tweaks to shine.