Draft of Attic Secrets
In the attic, Jack found an old leather-bound diary. His grandparents had left it behind when they moved in with their daughter years ago. Curiosity piqued, he flipped through the pages filled with cryptic entries from his great-grandmother's hand. As night fell, he began to read aloud, hoping the stories would bring him a goodnight tale. But each word seemed to whisper of a darker truth-of a curse that ran through their lineage. Jack felt the air grow cold and realized this diary was more than just history; it held the key to unraveling his family's secrets.
Draft Review of Attic Secrets
Review of the draft:
The opening sets a mysterious tone, which is good. However, there's room for more depth and clarity in Jack's emotional journey as he uncovers his family's curse. Consider adding specific details or events that make the diary entries more impactful. Additionally, the pacing could be improved by reducing unnecessary words to keep the narrative tight. Overall, a well-paced and eerie atmosphere can be enhanced with more vivid imagery and character development.